Here’s a list of 5 things that I just am not a fan of.
These aren’t pet peeves really, or fears, they’re just things that I want to address with, “That’ll be enough of that.”
1.) When you get extremely excited because you think you are seeing something really amazing…only to come to the realization that it’s not what you thought it was. And in actuality, it’s something super duper boring. Like today when I looked out my window and thought I saw a groundhog (HOW EXCITING!), but it really was a piece of firewood. Or the time when we were flying to Greece and Mimi looked out her window, flipped out, grabbed the arm rest, and exclaimed that there was a shark in the water below the plane…only to realize that the “shark” was the plane’s shadow. Ya know…disappointing realizations like that.
2.) Latchers. Most people are afraid of spiders and mosquitoes. Not me. I do realize that spiders are fast (not to mention they have jagged legs, can be poisonous, and tend bite you while you sleep), but you can brush them off in a frantic panic or squash them in a millisecond if you have good aim and quick reflexes. Likewise with mosquitoes…the average person can defend themselves for the most part. Unlike what I like to consider “latchers” i.e. ticks and leeches. If you’re lucky enough to notice them before they decide that your body is a good place for them to host their being, then all you have to worry about is relocating them. But if you find them after they’ve made the decision to latch on…then you’re out of luck. Phone a friend. Or panic and yell. That’s what I do.
3.) Anyone who drives in the furthest most left lane on a highway…and stays there at a snail pace. It is an unwritten (and most likely written somewhere) rule that the left most lane is reserved for passing. It’s for the people who are going like 72+ when the sign says 65. You’re right, the technical speed limit is 65. So if you really feel like going that slow, there’s a right lane for that. Nothing irritates me more than a pokey driver who sits in the left lane when there is ample room and opportunity for them to move back into the slow lane that is reserved for them. I am a patient person, but not if you’re inappropriately hanging out in the left most lane. Okay, now it’s a written rule.
4.) When people are rude to waitresses/waiters. Normally people complain about bad service. But what I really dislike is when customers treat a decent server poorly and are blatantly rude. I’m not a waitress, I’ve never been one, not sure that I ever will be one. But I’ve been around situations like this. And it’s embarrassing. This is a fine line…I’m not saying that bad service doesn’t exist, no it does. And it can be dealt with appropriately. What I mean is when a customer is beyond picky, pompous, and high-maintenance and expects every server in the world to cater to their needs. So they forgot 1 out of the 17 requests you had…get over it and stop embarrassing yourself. It’s not their fault you have an unnatural, unrealistic, and unnecessary amount of needs.
5.) Toads. There’s a mean difference between toads and frogs. Frogs stay in the water. Toads aren’t all that bad. I don’t mind seeing a toad. I don’t even mind holding a toad. But they have this weird habit of sitting right outside the door of our house (because of the warmth) and then you open the door and they play this game of, “let’s hop under her foot at the last second.” That fear ranks pretty high on my list. Squishing toads. Think about it, just one wrong hop…combined with one wrong step, and you have a disaster under your bare foot. A sad one. Likewise, toads seems to come out when it rains. And then they literally play Frogger on the road. The third most gross thing to stepping on a frog with your bare foot (2nd being a shoe-ed foot) would be running over one with your tire. They’re just way too squishy for that.
Here’s my worst day. It starts out with a casual drive to a restaurant. On the way, I have to either pass a person who is going 68 on their right (as they sit in the left lane), or I have to sit behind them for the entire drive because they refuse to weasel their way into the right most lane. Then, before I reach the restaurant, it starts to rain. Which triggers a massive game of Frogger, where ironically a toad (not a frog) finds itself smashed under my tire. Then, when I think it’s over, I arrive safely at the restaurant, step out of my car, and step on a second toad. And cry. Then on my way into the restaurant I see what I think is a cute, black cat, but sadly realize that it is a black garbage bag floating along the pavement. I enter the restaurant and am seated next to a high-maintenance lady who demands the removal of 7 of the 9 original ingredients, the addition of 5 obscure ones, bottled water instead of tap, and then publicly embarrasses the waiter for forgetting to take off the 7th ingredient. Then I find a tick crawling on me…but it’s not latched on yet. So to end the horrible day, I sneak the tick over to the unruly woman and hope for the best. A latcher.