The first thing I thought of when putting together this post was Bill Cosby’s show, Kids Say the Darndest Things. My life is basically an exact replica of that show if you replace “Kids” with “roommates”. This selection of quotes is very imbalanced due to a heavy dose of Jena. Jena just really knows how to throw together a good combination of words to describe relatively ridiculous situations and/or ideas. And I laugh every time. I’m just lucky enough to have my computer by me every so often to nonchalantly save these gems. This fine collection will begin to explain the sort of sentences I am given the task of responding to on the daily. Usually I just resort to a laugh.
JoAnna: Taylor, do you know how to braid?
Taylor: Kind of. Like I get the concept of it and I’ll do it on people if they don’t care how it turns out.
I don’t remember the context of this, but it doesn’t require much of an explanation.
Jena: …Because I shoulda been a bro.
Nichole: Because I was like a baby genius and then I became average.
While on the Scrambler ride at Bay Beach….
Jena’s (Failed) Date: Why aren’t you over here yet?
Jena: (While clenching the side of the Scrambler) Uhhh…I’m just really strong.
This entire date could be made into blockbuster comedy.
Looking back on this, I have no idea what it means. I’m pretty sure I was confused at the time, but now I’m even more confused.
Taylor: THE WOLF PACK DOPE GROUP. Because Dope is what it is, but it can also be used as an adjective. Like it’s dope.
Jena’s reflection on Orange is the New Black.
Jena: I just don’t think I could like girls. I mean, I don’t know how it would be after 7 years in jail, but I just really don’t like girls.
Taylor: I think flowers are kind of pointless. Like I’d be good with a hug. Or I mean something useful, like a pizza cutter. Like I understand it’s a nice gesture, but…
A “pizza cutter”.
A reiteration of the fact that Jena “shoulda been a bro.”
Jena: [Everyone has a boyfriend] They all do…except the nasty assholes. Doesn’t help that I think like a guy sometimes.
Jena: I’m an old soul….I don’t know about this new shit.
The above statement refers to a can of tomato soup with a pull tab. She was searching for the can opener until I pointed out the fact that the can did not require any sort of technology to open.
This has no context. Just a nice, out of the blue, “compliment”.
Kate: I think if one of us had a baby, we’d all be great moms. Like we’d be very supportive.
Jena: What if one of us was really gay? I know you all would think it’d be me. I couldn’t be. Like I’m that unattracted to women. I don’t even really like talking to them.
Taylor: If you wake up with a sore throat you can get rid of it by washing your sheets. Like if it’s a morning sore throat. You can.
No. Absolutely not.
Talking about a girl at the bar.
Jena: When they bleached her hair, they must have bleached her brain cells too.
Cheers. This is what I’m surrounded by every single day. I’m a lucky girl.